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born​-​again shell

by June Bash

/
1.
say 05:21
i’m craving something i can’t have; i’m a- -live; hear me out here; you can’t help unless you try any- -thing; will you help me please, even if you say something wrong; i will under- stand; i will under- stand we’ve been through this a thousand times; let’s get real; i’m a fool; i can’t go on; i’m just dead
2.
good 04:18
somewhere inside of my feeble mind there's a place where my vices can grow you won't believe me when i tell you but i think deep inside you know 'cause we're the same you and me, i'm telling you there's something in us fighting to get out i've found a way to deal with my pains but it seems you're holding some doubts well now i'm not feeling anything so i'm filling up my glass with that stuff again and i know it's such a selfish thing but i wish you felt as good as i did yeah i wish you felt as good as i did somewhere inside of my feeble mind i just know that i can get through pushing and shoving and not giving up on you and what you do it's the same every time, i'm telling you resisting all these primal drives so give in with me, just step up with me come on come on come on (etc) now i'm still not feeling anything so i'm brewing up a pint of that beer again and i know it's still a selfish thing but i wish you felt as good as i did yeah i wish you felt as good as i did give in let go
3.
waters 04:58
i’ve been drinking these waters for far too long i’ve been sleeping in showers for three hours i’ve been dying in gutters since i came home you’ve been cast out of eden by three angry gods you’ve been killing your brothers since you were born you’re a flesh-eating monster and i can't tell    i can’t always take all the blame it can’t always be up to me i’ve been drinking these waters for far too long i’ve been sleeping in showers for three hours i’ve been dying in gutters since i came home
4.
secrets 07:15
secrets never holding you down always showing you how how the word gets around weakness got you trapped in a cage i know you think you're safe but you're back on the stage turn around for the millionth time inside out sing along inside with no doubt never crossed that line you're not doing fine screaming shout into an empty room someone might show up soon but you do not know who dancing like there's nothing the matter hit a landmine and scatter you can't avoid the truth feel disgrace and feel sensation hold on to me you're here with me secrets always holding me down turn around for the millionth time inside out sing along inside with no doubt never crossed that line you're not doing fine turn around for the millionth time inside out sing along inside with no doubt never crossed that line i'm not doing fine look up into my eyes look back and ask yourself why don't think i'll forget that day trust me when you hear me say take back again what you said then i'm not feeling any pity feel disgrace and feel sensation hold on to me you're here with me secrets never holding you down always showing you how
5.
inaction 06:30
i’ve got concerns about the way that i work and it’s all i’m working on all day yeah i’ve got ideas that i swear would blow your mind if i could just… do them today i’ve got these words drifting out of my head before they even land on any page i’m not a fool but i’m a sucker for commission when the pay’s not a livable wage i’m losing my traction i’m trapped in inaction i know you can hear me just please, oh please take me seriously yeah, i’ve spent weeks digging into my brain searching for the key; no, that's not hyperbole and i’ve got these thoughts that pick away at my brain like a parasite slowly killing me don't be concerned about my wellbeing or the songs that you hear me singing, i swear they're just abstractions on the page just close the door behind you on your way out, i'm lost beyond the shadow of a doubt just cheer for me when i walk up onstage we’re losing our traction we’re trapped in distraction i know you can hear us we’re switched on, but helpless to do anything i'm so far away from keeping you in sight while you're getting further and i can't seem to ever get things right i'm just an observer
6.
leviasphere 05:15
#!/[~]$>_
7.
wait 09:06
i gave up on you today i thought we had something more to say but you let go so long ago and i can't wait anymore maybe you'll find someone to hear you and maybe we'll find some other time but i'm not holding out any hope if you won't make the time, neither will i so here we are and here we'll stay for the time being i will be back in touch eventually if you had your reasons i'd have your back but oh you loved me like mice love a trap get your- self some help get a hold of yourself don't think i don't understand don't think i won't hold your but why should we even talk the talk? we can't even crawl the walk so here we are and here we'll stay for the time being i will be back in touch eventually if you don't know where to go follow me i will lead you back here maybe you'll find somebody to hear you and maybe we'll find some other time and i'll be here if you ever come around and don't you wait for death so here i am and here i'll stay for the time being i will be back in touch eventually
8.
now 05:25
when i'm stuck inside my head i look out upon my breath i can see i've got no head where are my eyes? where is my face? what's this disguise? what is this place? what a disgrace can't you see how there's no point? can't you feel it in your joints? you've been displaced i can feel my body here can't you feel it disappear you're no one, you're everyone we are all gone we are now, we are one i am you, you are me are you here? are you there? are you inside everywhere? are you then? are you now? can you feel me anyhow? if you allow look inside your head and feel sit trembling and disappear i swear you've got nothing to fear fall down into heaven in you feel completion feel cessation let go; release you're here with me
9.
way 03:42
far out between us the sun sets below the blackened wood i see you reach out but no one takes your hand but you follow the footsteps out of your sanctuary into the morning light seeing for the first time this canyon carved out of ashen wood i reach my hand out and you run to greet me there and i follow your footsteps out of my sanctuary into the morning light wake up, old friend stand up, transcend this false reality keeping this wall between us vast projections to tomorrow prospects breeding endless sorrow hanging on to yesterday but i know we can find a way

about

a weird-and-potentially-uncomfortable-but-catchy-and-fun-and-also-poignant personal journey through the depths of one end of my psyche and out the other side... in the form of 9 eclectic, adventurous, and evolving electronic-rock-folk-pop songs.

influences here are wide and diverse, going from dirgy synthwave-rock anthem to electro-thrash to psychedelic drone-blues... and that's just the first 3 songs.

themes subtly re-occur between songs, musically and lyrically.

credits

released September 3, 2016

written and recorded 2014-2016 at hashbart studios and fever creek studios

all songs written, recorded, performed, produced by Jon Bash except

track 7 written by Jon Bash and John von Volkli
clarinet on track 6 performed by Elie Hartman

album art painted and digitally mutilated by Jon Bash

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all rights reserved

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about

June Bash Bellingham, Washington

June Bash is a developer & composer living in Bellingham, WA, a cozy town between Seattle and Vancouver, BC. They've mostly transitioned to a career as an iOS Developer, but will probably be writing more music eventually.

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